Gauri

In the (very long, with lots of gaps in between!) process of reading Good Talk: A Memoir in Conversations by Mira Jacob. It’s a graphic novel format, which I usually don’t read, but just love for this one. The book is described on her website as: “A bold, wry, and intimate graphic memoir about American identity, interracial families, and the realities that divide us” – very fitting for current times, and all times. PS. Love the new 5 Things email, Emily! And especially love this community collected book list.

Thank you so much for sharing this, I had a traumatic labor & delivery and did not feel bonded initially at all – and even though I knew this is a “thing” that happens, never thought it would happen to me. I was so overwhelmed by how much I missed being pregnant, to have her with me 100% of the time and to be able to provider everything she needed without even trying. It turns out these feelings are so common – and I so appreciate it being normalized here.

The best pieces of advice I received were: 1. The first month is the absolute most bonkers hardest time, and it gets better; 2. Give yourself grace. Both these words of wisdom helped me breathe easier, take the pressure / judgment off myself, and know I wasn’t alone. What I also needed was more support: from my partner, who was struggling himself with our traumatic birth experience; from a community that I had not had a chance to build, giving birth in a new state / city during COVID; from our society / culture that seems to discard mothers the second the baby is born. I’m working on a venture for comprehensive, proactive, virtual postpartum care for this very reason: other countries have so much more support and nurturance for new moms, and in the US we just don’t. That has to change.