Malieoverflow

I’ve never heard this but wow – that makes so much sense! Thanks for sharing!

I needed to hear this right now. Thank you!

I agree with the postpartum doula but would emphasize to find someone you resonate with, not just someone who knows the facts. I definitely had PPD but there was an internal wall telling myself this was normal. My husband also recognized it but didn’t know what to say to me. My doula, who we specifically asked pre-birth to help us with recognizing did not say a word. I also felt the whole time that she didn’t like me. And she seemed annoyed that I didn’t have a list of things to help with when she came. Even though in reality she was probably ambivalent towards me at worst, this feeling made my process harder in many ways

I’d like to add two points. The first is that history comes into play here a lot. If my mother offers advice on my infant, I’m most likely annoyed as she has a history of saying her opinions about everything I do. While if my father does, I listen more.

The second point I haven’t seen mentioned is that you can start the conversation by asking why they’ve made this choice. Maybe they have an ideological reason. Maybe they just are scared to do it. Whatever it is, it gives a way to judge the openness to a conversation and a way to start one. It also assumes that they have an intentional reason, validating that they are thoughtful parents.