Jenniferlynn.af

Omg would also add to this that there is postpartum depression but ALSO postpartum rage. I didn’t really have the symptoms of PPD that I was told to look for, but I had crazy rage that I just attributed to my own lack of control and not anything postpartum related because no one had ever mentioned it was a possibility. I found out waaay after the fact and man o man would that have helped me SO much. Hoping at least ONE PPR mom sees this and it helps.

I feel like what would have been most helpful is if someone actually prepared me and told the truth about postpartum BEFORE I was in it. I really felt betrayed that no one gave me an accurate depiction of how hard is really is. Especially when it came to the sleep deprivation. I’d heard jokes etc but no one, not even my midwife, sat me down and explained how challenging it would be. They’d just say “enjoy your sleep now!” and we’d laugh but it flatlined me and I did not get back to any kind of decent sleep until after my kid turned TWO, despite the fact that they slept through the night starting around 10 months. I kept wondering what was wrong with me because no one else had mentioned it, not friends, not ppl on social media (that I was seeing at the time), not even my own mother. It was only after I started posting on my social about how hard it was that friends came out of the woodwork to commiserate. Friends with 2 or 3 year olds who never said a word to me about it before. I always make sure to tell new moms-to-be to be prepared for the hardest thing they’ve ever done and I don’t spare a single detail! I’m so happy with my kiddo now they can’t believe it but there were many nights I cried to my husband that we had made a terrible a mistake. Ppl need to know on the other side of those sweet newborn snuggles is a hell unlike most of us have ever experienced and it will strip you to your bones and scrub you raw and make you into the weakest most vulnerable version of yourself. But also that eventually, after an amount of time that feels both like forever and a second, your kid(s) will help to build you back into a new version of yourself that you will love even more. In the end it is a small price to pay but while you’re in it it’s the ultimate sacrifice.