KQ123

Oh my gosh, so many things…. Probably biggest ones would be:
– “If you’re feeling crazy about your baby, it’s because we’re programmed to be crazy about protecting our babies”. I felt so much rage at anyone who would handle my baby differently and even to my husband. Hormones.
– “You’re not doing anything wrong.” I struggled with sleep, 15 min naps, spit up, and just constantly felt that dispute doing “everything the books told me” that I was just doing it wrong. Learned with my second that every baby is just different!
– “Just because you don’t “love” your baby yet doesn’t mean you don’t love your baby”. This one brings tears to my eyes do write because it was so, so hard with my first – I did not feel a connection for a long time. I even questioned becoming a mom. At about a year, after wrapping up breastfeeding- our connection was finally there. So much love. With my second, I had a quick and easy birth, it was instant. It made me realize that my traumatic first labor experience was to blame, not me. Give yourself some grace. Taking care of your baby means you love your baby! It will come.
– and lastly, on that note – “Just because your birth wasn’t as traumatic as someone else’s, doesn’t mean it was traumatic for you. Your trauma is YOUR trauma.” That one came from my therapist… I came to realize that because my birth wasn’t “that” traumatic (baby was ok and didn’t require NICU, I was able to deliver vaginally, I didn’t require surgery, etc) – didn’t mean it wasn’t so traumatic for me. I’d never broken a bone let alone been admitted to a hospital. My epidural didn’t work. I had back labor. I was in labor for almost 40 hours. His heart rate dropped multiple times. It was TERRIFYING and more painful than I ever thought possible. It wasn’t what I planned. That’s trauma – and receiving no recovery time alone because you have a baby almost broke me. Do the therapy, process the emotions, and get help to physically recover. And most importantly down downplay your experience because someone else had a “worse” one.