Kate C.

We had a ‘developmentally behind’ daughter who is an independent person with her own personality – she is almost 5 now and we’ve been worried about her since she was 12-18 months old. I would say we worried about her but also thought she’s just independent and will learn at her own pace. My advice is to use the resources available to have her assessed and get therapy for her, maybe not quite yet but in a few months. This does NOT mean that anything is ‘wrong’ with her but just that you are trying to help her develop which is a parent’s job. She will probably just develop on her own, but support would benefit ANY child, frankly. Get her hearing checked. Have her evaluated for early intervention services (speech, occupational and/ or physical therapy). Our daughter was young during COVID so we ended up starting Zooms with a speech therapist when she was 18 months old to teach us how to interact with her to support her speech development (using fewer words, speaking slowly, using visual aids, etc.). She then had therapies outside of preschool and eventually spent a year in an amazing special program run by our local school district (we were very lucky with that). She will be in kindergarten next year in an integrated special ed/mainstream setting, which isn’t what we dreamed of but is the right thing. Maybe in first grade she will be in a mainstream classroom, maybe not. Maybe she’s just eccentric and will end up going to MIT. Either way, I feel it’s been very important to her development to get therapy while she’s young and her brain is most plastic, rather than leaving it to chance. She’s so young that she’s never even noticed. One thing we never would have stood for is her getting a ‘formal diagnosis’ at a young age; maybe for some kids that’s right but not in her case. You know in your heart as a parent what is right. Luckily, no one has ever said anything like that to us. Good luck – I hope it doesn’t come to this but wanted to share my experience. It will be hard to accept if you get her therapy but you can rest easily in knowing that you are doing everything you can to help her be her best self. Thinking of you!