Kelley

Such a personal decision and so many factors to consider! My husband and I now have two. I started in the camp of wanting many children my whole life, my husband wasn’t sure he wanted more than one. A few things surprised me on this journey that might be worth considering.
1) Having family support you trust to help is a massive game changer. We don’t have grandparents on either side that are capable of child care, but we do have one auntie that is able and willing. My friends with “grandparent” help are in a much different boat- they still took trips after one child, had regular date nights, etc.

2) the child’s temperament is huge and not something you can plan for. Our first was tough for the first year, but now is easier. Our second was a delight from the moment he was born. I have friends that have it harder and have it easier, but it definitely impacts the parenting journey!

3) Community can really make the difference between a joyful journey and a really hard lonely one. We found our community two years in and it has been a GAMECHANGER.

I’ll also so that for me, my life changed dramatically in ways I did not expect. I found it hard to “be the person I was” and that led to some months of poor mental health. But even now, I am different. I get feedback from friends without kids that I seem less happy. Nothing could be further from the truth for me, but I also don’t find pleasure in exactly the same things I did before. I guess I wonder if your friends are truly less happy or if they are happy in a different arena of life and it looks different.

Best of luck with your journey. Either way you go, it’ll be an adventure!