KLTS0902

I totally hear where you are coming from. Bottom line is there have been a lot of times during my pregnancy and my daughter’s 7 months of life where I have said some form of “why the **** did we do this?” I have not loved the newborn phase. And due to some health issues, she will be our only child. So, I feel guilt around not enjoying/savoring each moment knowing I’ll never again have a child this age. If you do end up having a child, I just want to normalize that it is okay if sometimes you don’t love it. I love my daughter so much and also miss my freedom. Her smile lights up my world, and yet I am anxious a lot of the time. I love holding her while resenting the need to be way more organized that I have ever been (and I’m far from as organized as I need to be). I feel like I’m drowning in laundry and bottles and diapers, and yet I trust that I was given this baby for a beautiful reason that I might not yet fully know. She brings so much joy to her dad and me, to her grandparents, to her aunts, uncles, and cousins.
Those first few months can be dark and isolating, don’t get me wrong. Parenthood is all about tradeoffs. Life will just be different, and there will be moments where you think the grass is greener on the other side. It is okay to feel conflicted. Just love your child the best you can, and find good babysitters once you feel comfortable.