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Not an answer to the question if having kids, but here to say wrt new parents seeming depressed or less happy – I find that people talk more about how it’s hard because that often was not talked about before. It’s almost an overcompensation and misery loves company (like you’re sharing this bond with other sleep deprived parents).
But also, it’s often hard to explain how fun it is to hang out with your kid. Or how happy it makes you that they do some silly things. Or how proud you are of tiny accomplishments. And no one wants to be the parent that only talks about their kids. So I can definitely see why the positives of having kids is often obscured by how much the difficult things are talked about