Laura

I actively did not want kids until I was 34. Then my husband and I went away with my extended family for a week and it totally changed our perspective on what it would mean if we didn’t have kids. It just became clear there would be an empty space in our lives in the future.

We had adopted a shelter dog who had some pretty severe anxiety issues a few years earlier, and working through his problems together really prepared us for the challenges of adjusting our lifestyle and identities. Having a baby has been pretty easy by comparison! Admittedly, our little boy (4 months now)is very easy-going and happy so we were really lucky there.

I think coming to the decision later in life makes the hard parts of parenting a bit easier, because less of your identity is tied up in a lifetime of imagining how happy you’re going to be with kids. I feel much more able to deal with the hard bits because at this age I’ve already dealt with lots of hard things. If I were doing this in my mid 20s it would be so much harder.

I will say that my relationship with my dog has suffered, and I am finding that very sad. I just don’t have the time and energy for him that he is used to, and I’m not sure when I’m going to be able to turn that around.

In spite of this, becoming a parent has been awesome. I’m finding it really fun in a way I did not expect, and I’m enjoying the new side of my partner that it has allowed me to see. I think we still would have been totally happy even if we didn’t have kids, but I’m really glad we did.