Seabee123

Was it just ignoring the tantrum that had this effect, or did they do other things like give you the cold shoulder afterwards?

I think our culture overindexes on difficulty and pain. I think basically at any time you can find tons of articles floating around about how difficult having kids is, how our culture doesn’t support parents enough, how the US doesn’t support women enough, about the unfair division of labor between parents, etc, etc.

These things are undoubtedly true but also much more likely to garner clicks than the other truth–that children are a new experience in a life that is mostly inwardly focused, that while they can be difficult little people, they can also bring you transcendent joy, that the relationship that you will have with them is unlike anything you can experience with anyone else in your life.

I was in your shoes at 30, and 35, and 37. My husband and I read the Baby Decision book and it didn’t help us much, we still kept going in circles around the decision for literally years. Finally I decided that if I could never experience the relationship I saw my friends have with their children, it would be a huge loss for me. We dealt with infertility and IVF but now we have a 19 month old who is the absolute light of our lives. Our marriage is definitely rockier than it was before, but we’ll get through it.

My biggest regret in life, by FAR, is not starting sooner. Now, even if we wanted to have three, it’s just not in the cards.