sciencemom

I make so many recipes from Salt and Lavender and my 4 year old loves them. Lots of pasta, but also great recipes for chicken with different easy sauces. One of my summer favorites is this cream corn pasta. I know that sounds weird but it has fresh basil and sweet summer corn and my whole family loves it. https://www.saltandlavender.com/creamy-corn-pasta/#growSource=search&growReferrer=true

When my kid (almost 4) asks me questions about the world. Why did someone say something, why does that person use a wheelchair, will the earth break in half, how will my baby come out, etc. I feel so honored to be who she trusts to ask questions that are big and important to her and I don’t always know the answers and love finding out with her.

For poop withholding – our daughter didn’t withhold, but had some painful constipation which led to a lot of pee accidents (which I guess is quite common with constipation!). We did some miralax to help soften, but honestly giving her foods that help with softening poop helped even more. Pears work magic for her. Other fruits with “p” also help here – plums, peaches, prunes. Can you introduce more of these to your kiddo’s diet and see if that softening helps increase bathroom trips and lessens withholding?

I think every child is different and my favorite advice is “parent the child in front of you” – like maybe the gentle parenting scripts don’t connect with you/your kid and that’s ok. Maybe they need some tweaking, or some physical additions (like removing from the table for food throwing, or putting a toy up high that’s causing drama, not like getting physical with your kid). Also the book “hunt, gather, parent” was really game changing for me. It looks at different parenting styles and techniques from all over the world. I don’t use everything presented, but it changed my mindset on many toddler parenting challenges in such a helpful way – particularly “battling” toddler wills.

Also – the book “adult children of emotionally immature parents” really opened my eyes to navigating relationships with parents who don’t respect boundaries. Might be worth a look!

I think grandparents are known for a bit of overindulgence and rule bending. My daughter definitely watches more tv and gets more treats when she’s with my mom for example, but what you’re describing sounds extreme. The biggest red flag for me is saying no kindergarten – this makes it sounds like your MIL is not interested in submitting to anyone else’s opinions or ideas, which it sounds like you’ve experienced. I can empathize with limited overnight childcare options and feeling stuck. Are there any universities near you where you could post about seeking a nanny/babysitter and possibly get to know another caregiver who you’d feel comfortable with doing overnight with your kid? It takes time and money to foster that relationship but if it’s possible for you it sounds like you really need another option.