Maria

I struggled a lot with this same question before we decided to have a baby (I have two precious pups too!). Our son is currently 17 months old and you are right being a parent is very hard. Yet it is also beautiful and rich and filled with meaning.

If I could go back in time, I wouldn’t ask myself “if I want to have a baby”. I would ask myself “what gives my life meaning – what makes it a good life – and does a baby fit into my definiton of that?”.

For me, a good life is a life lived with purpose. And purpose, to me, comes from contributing/serving/supporting to something or someone outside myself – as they say something larger than the “I”. Having a child is one incredibly beautiful way to do that but not the only one.

Parenting is hard, and stressful, and exhausting. Freedom, independence, easiness, being stress-free are at odds with parenthood. To be a parent is to be needed by a child for many years of your life. But again it goes back to the question about your “rule of life”.

I can tell you that every day since knowing I was pregnant and becoming a mother I have grown to be a better person.That something happens to your heart and mind when you became responsible for a previous innocent joyful little life. I am more mature, more responsible, more productive because of my son. I have a sharper sense of what matters in life and what I want to prioritize because of my son. I experience the most profound joy watching my son experience the world as he grows.

All the best to you as you journey on with this big question. The fact that you are taking the time to ask it is a beautiful thing.