Nonners26

Sorry for typos- I was just going to add that you can impart wisdom to the next generation by being in a helping profession. Or a super involved aunt.

I’m currently debating whether or not to have a fourth child. I have three and thought that’s where u would stop, but I just love my kids so much I question the feasibility of a fourth.
Obviously, for me having kids is the best thing I’ve ever done. And the hardest. And yet I’m happy to dive in again….
But this question is for you. You’re worried about being unhappy and have witnessed depressed friends with kids.
It will take a toll of you, your marriage, everything. I guess, it’s helpful to discuss styles, etc, but there’s no 100% preparation. Things come up. How do you do in situations where you have to dive in and do the best you can? Are you creative? Can you think on your feet?
Do you have money? Do you get along with your partner?
One small comparison that came to mind is my mentality buying a cat. I don’t want a car with a weird personality I’m stuck with. And yet, you love your kid so much…it’s truly an awesome experience. I don’t think you’ll ever have regrets or feel stuck.
It truly takes a village, though, having support for sick days and babysitting and weekend getaways is helpful for your mental health.
I read in a book once, about having a child is a big part of the buffet of life experiences. It truly is meaningful to impart your values onto someone else.
I’m a Christian, so I’ll also say, pray about it!
Good luck and Godspeed. Follow Emily Oster’s decision process she outlines in the Family Firm.

That you will have a moment in the middle of the night when you’re really tired and the baby won’t go back to sleep and you’ll feel very overwhelmed. You’ll figure it out, take a shower and a nap the next day, and figure out a plan so that situation won’t repeat itself. You’ll get smarter every day.