Shivani

For my nuclear family it’s like any other day. My husband and I decided early in our relationship that we are going to write our own rules for holidays and for some holidays that means just skipping them. Instead, we show up as partners day in and day out and we both feel like that is the real gift.

Growing up my mom always said “every day is Mother’s Day” to mean that she deserves respect and consideration daily. In hind sight she definitely didn’t get what she deserved. I do send her flowers and a few goodies on the official day, but especially after becoming a mother myself, I try to make sure I’m showing up for her as a friend and support person as best as I can.

Looks like I might be in the minority here but 1 to 2 was much harder for me than 0 to 1.

0 to 1 was pretty easy for us. We avoided some of the common pitfalls by having deep dive conversations on marriage/roles/responsibilities/career/lifestyle before getting pregnant. Baby 1 was an “easy baby” and we spent the postpartum period adding baby into our lifestyle with relative ease.

Before having our first, I told my husband that I felt strongly that we have no kids or 2 kids and he agreed. So we knew we would add a second, and with the first feeling so smooth, we wanted to add another baby, we felt confident, and I was pregnant by the time by first turned one. I imagines another blissful postpartum in a love bubble with our completed family unit. Yes, I see how silly sounds in hindsight, haha.

Baby number 2 was not “an easy baby” and I had some pregnancy complications the second time that led to pregnancy and postpartum anxiety. I also didn’t realize how tired we would be, even with lots of help. With the first baby we enjoyed time together or in rest when she rested. With two babies we were always on duty. I also didn’t fully realize that each of us being man-to-man with the kids would mean a lot less time with each other. In the first few months we weren’t able to spend much time with all four of us.

I’m now 6 months pp and things have improved drastically in the past month. We do have time for ourselves and for each other. We do spend a lot of time as a unit of four.

1 to 2 kicked my ass but I’m still glad I did it. My family feels complete and I know I’m done.