Aria

Hi Frustrated Dad,

I’m estranged from my in-laws, for very serious reasons that are akin to this that you write here of your in-laws ignoring your boundaries. It’s not a small matter, and honestly it is very concerning to what is happening when your child is with them, especially around the “don’t tell mommy and daddy”phrasing.

Parenting YOUR family is your responsibility. Just because your in-laws are your wife’s parents doesn’t entitle them to anything. At all.

As many others wrote, a huge red flag in what you write is stating she won’t to take your child to school. That’s a double issue: going against your wishes, and a conscious act of truancy.

Tips: Make sure you and your wife are on the same page about what to do.
I’d honestly limit contact with your in-laws, and amend this vacation. It might mean “no breaks” right now but your child’s psyche and emotional health will benefit from you standing up for them.

Script: “Hey, (child’s name) won’t be staying with you anymore because you stated you won’t take care of them according to our wishes.”

Good luck. You can do this!