Momof2

See my response to Sarah’s post above, also relevant here. What I’ve done last year and doing again this year is planning a picnic meetup in a park that does a festival in our area on Mother’s Day, we bring bagels and cream cheese (something my partner is capable of coordinating) and tell my parents and my inlaws and my sister-in-laws so their families can participate too. It’s easy and it’s no one’s perfect thing but checks all the boxes and just takes a little time.

I’m sorry, that sounds so tough to deal with. I got the following text from my mom this week (her mother / my grandma recently died so it’s her first Mother’s Day without her) “I want to tell you something and I want you to take it to heart. I don’t want Mother’s Day to be about me. You are a mom too and you are just as important on Mother’s Day. I didn’t enjoy Mother’s Day for a number of years because it was always about [my grandma’s name]. Please don’t make this day about me. It’s about all us mothers!!!!” I’m sure your mom wouldn’t want you feeling like that today or someday. I hope you can find a way to make it a day you actually at least somewhat look forward to and that you can avoid someday saying that to your daughter. I myself have had to ratchet back my expectations for Mother’s Day… when I was growing up we made a big deal of it doing stuff for my mom (so my mom saying it was all about my grandma hurt a little (!) because we thought we did so much for her!) but my partner’s family didn’t do much for his mom so he never did much for me in past years- following the precedent of his own mom (side note- my poor mother in law who never got a great Mother’s Day it sounds like!). Now with a newborn and 3 year old basically I feel the power is in my partner’s hands to make or break the day… but recently I realised I need to specifically ask for what I want (e.g. for him to watch the newborn while the toddler naps so I can have two hours to myself) in order to have a chance of getting it. Stick in there!