soco123

My husband and I were also unsure – we’d generally thought we wanted kids one day but one day always felt a long way off. And when I thought about why I wanted kids, it was almost more about wanting adult kids when I was old than the actual kids to take care of as babies and beyond. That said, when I was 34 and lots of our friends were having babies, we realized if we were going to do it the time was now and we decided that it was ultimately something we wanted. It took us a while to get pregnant but we finally had a baby when I was 36, and she’s now 6 months old. I went in expecting it to be very very hard and while it certainly has had its challenges, I don’t think it has been as difficult as I imagined and also don’t feel like I have lost myself or had to give up that much of my former life. I know that is not everyone’s experience- our daughter has been healthy and relatively chill, and we have a lot of other supports (local family, financial resources, etc.) that also help. And there has been so much more joy than I expected. I feel confident we would have lived full and meaningful lives without kids but I’m also so glad we decided to have them. I don’t agree with the sentiment that if you’re not sure you shouldn’t do it. I’m also not saying you definitely should – it’s definitely a big and personal decision, but I don’t think some level of ambivalence means it should be a no.