tjcn118

You didn’t really say whether you actually want a baby and you’re just debating if you’ll regret it, or if you’re wondering if you should just because… that’s a big difference.

That’s the position I was in. I wanted one but was terrified about the negative impact to my life and marriage. Having a baby fundamentally changes you and so while you will at times miss parts of your old life, you may also find that those things don’t serve you or that you don’t need them as much/frequently. Having a baby will negatively impact your marriage but only as much as you let it. Some days I do regret having a kid but on the whole, I absolutely do not. Having a child is really fulfilling and can make it easier to let go of people and patterns that don’t fit your life any longer.

When I was debating having a second child, a friend helped by framing the decision this way: if it’s a “maybe” then it’s a “yes”. Try asking yourself in those terms.