Wendyp

For as long as I can remember I told people I never wanted kids. I had nieces and nephews and loved playing with them but never felt that pull for myself. Even on my first date with my now husband I said I didn’t want kids. Fast forward a few years, we were happy, traveling, enjoying all the freedom but decided that maybe we’d just try to get pregnant and see what happens. We both were open to the idea but still didn’t feel like it was a hole in our lives. I was 34 and my husband was almost 39 when we decided to give it a shot. Thankfully we got pregnant super easily and enjoyed one last pre-baby big trip to Europe before taking the pregnancy test. Pregnancy and delivery were easy but I have found motherhood very difficult. My husband has found fatherhood to be beyond rewarding and loves it, where I’ve struggled. I love my son, now 4, and don’t regret it at all, but there are of course days I miss my freedom. I find it especially hard since my husband loves it so much he never wants to be away from our son, where I appreciate time away.

My husband still has friends who are unmarried or married without kids and it has definitely changed his relationship with them as when they hang out they have nothing new going on in their lives. Every conversation seems to be the same as it has been over the last 10 years and they don’t understand his new life. Of course not every married couple without kids is like that, just his experience.

It’s worth mentioning, if you have 1 then the automatic question is when are you having a second due to all of the stereotypes of only kids. We are only having 1 but still get lots of judgement and stress over not giving our son siblings.

Only you and your husband can decide what is best for you.